I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Pappa wants mamma naked
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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