Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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