I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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