you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
