I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
