youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
