Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
