So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
