official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize