so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
