What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
