I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
