Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Randomize
