so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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