Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
