dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
