everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
