I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize