he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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