wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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