Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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