Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
