Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We need to get me chipped asap
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
