if you like me you must not know who I am
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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