mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just cropdusted the office
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
