i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She's like a pop up book from hell.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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