OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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