i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
