Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize