My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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