People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
