Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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