Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
