I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
