I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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