Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Randomize
