im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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