how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize