she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This is my life. Enjoy the view
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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