I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
