We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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