i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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