Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
