I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
