I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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