i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
