i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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