sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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