dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
3pm strippers are depressing
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
