Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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