So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
