Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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