she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
