i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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