hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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