that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
