:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
