How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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