the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
