wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize