what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
