i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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