Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
